Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Calls to Doctors

So I called my doctors today.

I called Dr. Eck, my ob-gyn and I called Dr. Grainger, my fertility doctor.

Dr. David Grainger, expert on...well, you know.  This guy is not even creepy.  I totally expected him to be.

Dr. Grainer is fantastic. And his nurses are wonderful.  It was kind of like reuniting with old pals when I talked to them.  Except if I never talked to them again I'd be fine.

And I cried when I talked to them.

I hadn't talked to Dr. Grainger's office since last December when I was 10 weeks along.

And I walked out of the office with the cutest little pictures of the bubble-alien version of Maggie.

I had to explain the whole thing again.

"Yes, it was a little girl."

My heart broke again and I got all choked up. 

Thankfully, I took control and the ugly cry did not make an appearance.

And then I asked how all this works--starting this whole process again.

[Insert heavy-hearted sigh].

I have an appointment with him at the end of June.

(He's that busy folks. Like no appointments between now and the end of June.)

I don't want to start this all over when my happy ending was supposed to be just a few weeks away.


Can't wait for the stirrups.

And the stomach injectibles at 3 am.

And the pills.

And the calendars.

And the hour long drive to and from the office.

And getting my hopes up over and over again.

But, really, I can't wait to try this all again.

Maggie would like a little brother or sister.

And I would like another son or daughter.

Living, breathing, and beating heart, preferably.

But, just as perfect as Maggie.

1 comment:

  1. Praying for you as you start this journey again. I took my last BCP pill last night (dr wanted us to wait 2 cycles, but put me on BCP to help regulate them since my cycles can be upwards of 50 days). I'm right there with you - anxious, not sure I'm ready to the emotions of infertility, etc. (hugs)


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