Tuesday, May 17, 2011

1,500 times

Dear Maggie,
Just in case you don't know, or haven't heard it enough, there are so many people who love you.
And miss you.
And think of you often.
I have thought of you at least 25 times a day for the last 60 days straight.
That's 1,500 times.

At least.
But I know it's more than that.

That 1,500 isn't counting the times when I see daisies and think of you.
Or when I hear another baby giggle and wonder what your laugh would be like...would your laugh be as obnoxious (and machine-gun-like) as your mama's and auntie's?
It doesn't count the times when I am laying in bed, on my belly and I realize you aren't there.
That I should be laying on my side.
And, it doesn't count the times when I order a Coke instead of water.
Because when you were just a bitty thing, I gave that delicious beverage up.
So that you wouldn't have 17 eyes and need to be sedated once you had to sit in school and learn.
(Supposedly, caffeine may do that to little bugs like you.)

But, I don't mind.
I love thinking about you.

I have thought about you a lot today.
Even more than usual.
Two months ago I was saying hello and goodbye to you.

So, my little bug--
Happy 2 month birthday.
I love you more than I thought I was capable of loving anyone.
And I miss you.
More than anyone should have to miss anyone.

And I cannot wait to give you a hug.
And I cannot wait for you to hug me back.
(You won't be, like, a teenager by then, and be too embarrassed to hug your mom, right?)


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