Sunday, May 15, 2011

A pink pinwheel

I got this on Saturday.

Keep reading and I'll show you what I did with it.

I spent most of Saturday with my parents.  Have I told you how wonderful they are?  They are amazing.
They knew that I was having a rough time over the last few days.
Why is grief so...unpredictable...crappy...overwhelming?
For some reason I have been so sad the last few days.
And I'm not sure why.

My mom brought me some flowers.
She's an amazing flower arranger.
Aren't these right out of a Dr. Seuss book?

My mom and I ran some errands while my dad cooked.
Do you see him the background up there?
If you don't know my dad, he is an amazing cook.
He makes amazing Chinese food.
His spring rolls are amazing.  Like all other spring rolls taste like dog crap compared to my dad's.

And, he makes delicious dumplings.

Oh, and by the way, while ma and I were running errands I made some plans for next weekend.
I am a bit excited and can't wait to show you pictures.
I think I saw about 435 pregnant women this weekend.  They were everywhere.
I couldn't get away from them.
I wanted so badly to run up to them and tell them that I should be pregnant.  That I was.  That I would look like them if all this hadn't happened. That I should be able to be a part of their club instead of the one I'm in.

I don't know why the last few days have been hard ones.
Is it because school is ending and I had such different plans for summer?
Is it because the 2 month mark is coming up?
Is it because I saw some fabric at Hobby Lobby that would have been so adorable in her nursery?
And I thought, for a split second, that I should buy it?
Tonight we went and visited Maggie.
The field was so green.
Except for a little bit of pink.
From the little something that we left for her.

Isn't it so cute?
I know it's not going to last long since Kansas is obsessed with wind.
But, I love it.
It's cute and fun and it will keep Maggie entertained.
Every little girl should have a pink pinwheel.


  1. Rachel it breaks my Heart to see you so sad,you are the most deserved Women to be pregnant .You are so awesome with Kids!I love you pray that Gods peace and healing be with you today,coming weeks,until the Day you hold your own Baby in your Arms!Love Hilda!

  2. The pink pinwheel is wonderful!!

  3. I've been reading your blog, crying tears. Love the pink pinwheel. Love your heart laid out there. I wanted you to know I pray for you and prayed especially for you this last Mother's Day. The journey of pain, while different is not a stranger to me. Some day I hope you'll share your Maggie pictures. And I'll pray that a Nettie Harder may one day arrive as well. Hope - we all have hope!


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