Sunday, May 22, 2011

Sorry you can't smell this blog.

Birthdays aren't quite as cool when you are old(er).

However, this one has been pretty darn good.

I will try not to be wordy and let the pictures speak for themselves.

However, I got this gift in the mail and thought it needed some explanation.

I got this gift from my sister's friend, Greg (he was the guy that was thoughtful enough to buy Maggie's stone and cross for her grave).

He has an amazingly great sense of humor and obviously a great heart--how many people would just buy a stone and cross for someone they hardly know?!.

Anyways, I got a letter in the mail from him, which I read before opening the box. In it, he stated that he bought this statue for his sister 18 years ago when they were trying to start a family.  After success, it was passed around between all of his siblings.  And now that they are done with it, he wanted to bequeath it to Dave and I. We are now the lucky owners of this Ashanti Tribe woman who is supposed to bring prosperity, fertility, and blessing to our home.

I should have warned you that these are rated X pictures.  Totally should have covered her up a bit.

Not quite sure where this lady is going to be placed in our home.  Suggestions? 
Now, being the funny guy that he is, Greg offered some other ideas for uses of this lady.
  • Use it at school as a puppet (he is a teacher too, so he suggested making clothes for it before showing it off the kids).
  • Use it while cooking to stir things (you guys, it's ginormous, like her head is a good 6 or 7 inches across).
  • Necklace?
  • Keep it above our bed (No thanks, Creepy McCreep-er-son).
  • Cattle prod or shoehorn for Dave's boots.
So there you go. Birthday gift #1.

Then, my sister got me this.  This is the shiz-nits, in case you were wondering.
Would it be creepy and weird if I laid in bed with my Kindle and Ashanti woman?  Yes?
Then, I got to have a birthday meal at my parent's house with family.  And, in case you don't know my family, they are really good at cooking.  I mean cul-i-nar-y-awe-some-ness. It is pretty much sheer gluttony every time I am with them.

I first encountered this:
A pile of chicken.  Seriously.
You guys, seriously.  This is the BEST bbq chicken ever.  It is marinated in butter.  And vinegar.  And sugar. And then redipped in the buttery-mixture while grilling.

Then, I walked in the house and saw this:
Spinach/Egg salad, Funeral Potatoes (cheesy hashbrowny potatoes with cornflakes), applesauce, and my dad's homemade bread.
If you know me, you can imagine the cackling coming forth from my big mouth.  I'm pretty sure that was full-force machine gun right then.
Totally wish we had smell-a-computer or something.  You guys are totally missing out.
Finish all that off with three types of pies.
Fresh strawberry, strawberry-rhubarb, and raspberry cream.
My Grandma Anna is smiling down from heaven, very proud of her children and grandchildren.
And she's telling Maggie about our pie tradition and how amazingly good they are.
(sidenote: there better be pie in heaven)
Pies have always been an important part of our family.
When we would visit for the summer, Grandma had 4 pies made before the grandkids were even up for breakfast.
And when we got up, we could snack on poor man's pie for breakfast (that is, if little-baby-cousin-chubby-cheeks Martin hadn't snarfed it all down first.  :) )

Other gifts include this cookbook (can't wait for school to be out in 3.5 days and I can sit and read through this):
Dave thought he was a funny guy and said the title should be "Mennonite Girls Should Cook"  OR "Mennonite Girls Will Cook."  I was not impressed. This Menno girl should kick her husband in the shins.
This cookbook comes from this blog.
And it is great.
And it has pictures.
And the pictures are delicious looking.
How have I not had a giant heart attack from all this food in my life?
This is the blog where I learned that Baked Alaska is not fish.
Why have I always thought it was freaking fish?
It's baked ice cream.
Who was the genius that put ice cream in an oven?

Anyways, remember back at the beginning when I said I wasn't going to type much?
That didn't so much happen.
Sorry 'bout that, folks.

And, make sure to weigh yourself now.
You may have gained a few pounds just from looking at this heavenly goodness.

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