Sunday, September 16, 2012

24.5 Weeks

This past Thursday I had another appointment with the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor in Wichita.  I was a bit anxious for this appointment, as my 24 week appointment with Maggie ended way differently than I ever imagined it would.

We got the joy of having another hour and a half sonogram due to the fact that both Herbie and Puckett were not cooperating with the sonographer.  More details below.

How Far Along: 24.5 weeks

Size of Babies: Baby Boy (A) weighs 1 lb 8 oz and Baby Girl (B) weighs 1 lb 4 oz.  They are about a foot long, from crown to heel.  They both are continuing to gain weight and grow as they should and are right on track with singleton pregnancies.

Weight Gain: Since my last appointment with the MFM I had gained 7 pounds (in 5 weeks). They were happy with that growth but continued to encourage me to continue to eat good fats, calories, and proteins, and eat enough of protein.  Proof of the weight gain is my quadruple chin that is forming quickly.

Belly: Continuing to grow, which is great.  That is reassurance that they are gaining weight and growing the way they should.  It is getting tougher to find shirts in my closet that fit (medium maternity shirts are getting snug) but I refuse to buy more clothes until I absolutely need to and the weather has cooled off. 

Sleep:  Same as the last post.  Decent sleep with some bathroom breaks or switching from side to side.

Movement: I feel them all the time now- mostly when I am sitting or laying down.  And, since I had the sonogram, I now know which movements are coming from which baby.  They are active and I am now seeing their movements outside of my belly, too (the remote will move around if I lay it on my belly).

Food Cravings: No cravings anymore.  Just continuing to eat as much as I can and eat enough healthy foods, too.

Appointments:  As I said, I had an appointment with the MFM on Thursday.  We were mostly concerned with the growth of Puckett (girl) and the size difference between the two babies wouldn't increase and wouldn't be greater than 20%.  

Since our last appointment, Puckett gained 11 ounces and Herbie (boy) gained 13 ounces.  So, the doctor did not seem concerned and actually seemed pleased with both of the growth that they were making.  Since Puckett is a girl she may just be small to begin with and the smaller size is because of her make-up--not because there is a problem.  She is still measuring in the 33rd percentile for a singleton pregnancy.  

Because of all the good news, we have graduated from the MFM doctor and will not go back unless other issues arise.  We will continue to watch Puckett's growth and make sure she is making the progress she needs.

My next appointment is with Dr. Eck next week.  We will start scheduling appointments every two weeks from then on.
Emotions: This past week was difficult for me- for several reasons.  Last Friday, the 7th was Nugget's expected due date.  And although I never said anything, it felt weird (there is no word to describe my feelings) to know that I probably would be delivering a son if things hadn't gone the way they did. 

I was also struggling because I was the same time gestationally that I was when I lost Maggie.  Plus, I had the appointment so between the two I had flashbacks and worried that the same thing would happen again.  

More about my thoughts on all of this in the post below.

Other things:
  • I am having some pinched nerve issues and pain issues in my leg and lower back.  There's nothing much I can do except stretch and not stay in one position for a long amount of time.  And I can only expect these pains to increase as time goes on.
  • My feet have started to swell after certain situations (sitting for too long, not putting my feet up), etc.  Enough that most shoes won't fit me but fortunately this is not happening all the time.
  •  I had one of the best weekends in a long, long time.  My girlfriends from college visited me from Indiana (minus two of them).  Remember them from last year?  More on that later this week after I recover.

All in all- a wonderful week- a week that made my heart soar and be full of thankfulness, so matter how many tears were shed.  So thankful and feeling blessed and full of joy.

One more thing, prayers for a few family members who have experienced  some heartbreak over the past week or two.  And although their life events are completely different, they are still heartbreaking.  
They are both loss of hopes.
And dreams.
Just know, you two, that you are in my prayers.
That I think of you often.
And I know my words bring no comfort.
Or answers.
But I will continue to pray.
And hold you both in my hearts.

Hitting Some Milestones

This week I passed another major milestone.
A major one that has been on my check-off list for awhile.
24 weeks.
and done.
We have passed that major hurdle.

I have been dreading this week for awhile as I knew that along with this milestone came another major doctor's appointment.  And I was terrified that our appointment would turn out like the last one.

I thought a lot this week.
I prayed a lot.
I cried more than I have in a long time.

This was my struggle and maybe some of you who have been on this journey can help me out.
I am incredibly thankful and excited and ecstatic and everything-else-good about Herbie and Puckett.  I am so excited to meet them face-to-face and hear their screams and feel their movements in person.
But how do you feel all of these things without feeling guilt about losing your last child?
Let me explain...
I know that without Maggie dying (and without losing Nugget), that I would not have Herbie and Puckett.  I feel badly for being so excited when I know that the only reason they are here is that Maggie and Nugget didn't survive.
How do I celebrate the lives and arrivals of Herbie and Puckett when I know that my celebration is because of previous loss and sorrow?
Any advice?

while I was cleaning out my car, I found
a CD that my cousins sent me after Maggie died.
It was Steven Curtis Chapman's Beauty Will Rise  album-
the one that he wrote after his daughter died.

I listened to the CD quite a bit last March and April
but I put it in again this past week.
And listened to the lyrics to and from work.
And, I heard new things.
Or, at least, I heard things and they meant something totally different to me now than they did then.
I remember listening
and hearing the parts about joy coming in the morning.
And in my heart, I knew that it would happen.
But I didn't really believe it.
Or, I had no idea how I would feel joy and life again.
But, now I get it.
Joy is coming
and is on its way.
And out of all the ashes,
there is beauty rising.

And I am in awe of the fact that out of ashes that seemed so completely devastating
and heartbreaking
that something so beautiful can arise.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...