15 weeks (a tad late)

How Far Along: 15 weeks and 3 days.  

Size of Babies: About 4 inches long and weigh about 2.5 oz each (the weight of a small hamster).

Source here.  This is like Herbie and Puckett. Just not so hairy. Or germy.  Or  unintelligent.

Weight Gain: Only up about 4-5 pounds (depending on when I weigh myself).  According to my doctor, my goal in the next few weeks is to eat more food with protein and calcium.  Which I heard as: eat more steak dinners and have more ice cream.  Done and done. 

Belly: I don't notice a huge change from last week. It just feels different than it has.   Not painful, but just tight.  Like it is full of baby goodness.  Which is priceless.

Sleep: I need to get on a regular schedule soon- the summer sleeping schedule always messes with me when I try to return to my work schedule.  I am still tired, but not nearly as tired as I was previously. And, I only get up once or twice a night to go to the bathroom.

Movement: Almost every night at 10:30-11:30 I feel something.  Nothing huge yet, but I know what to feel for.  There's definitely movement. And it is is fantastic.

Food Cravings: Ice cream, cheese, raspberries. There isn't anything I have to have, but I think I am moving into the "I will eat anything in sight" phase.

Clothes: Mostly workout shorts (which fit if I wear them down low) and t-shirts.  Otherwise, I am wearing all maternity shirts and bottoms now. 

Appointments: I had one this past Wednesday (Mag's due date). The breakdown:

• Waited freaking forever.
• I peed in a cup, as per usual.
• I got to see nurse Andi for the first time since that day.  
• Did a mini/portable sonogram.
• I didn't see much for several reasons.  1) I didn't want to look at first. 2) I was laying down 3.) The screen was seriously the size of a phone's screen.
• What I did see was adorable and wonderful: two fluttering hearts and two little things that looked like actual babies. Score!
• I have an appointment with Dr. Eck in August, the week before school starts.
• The next day I have an appointment with a perinatologist to do the 20 week anatomy scan.  I am a bit nervous about that, but glad that we are meeting with someone who can help us out if there are issues that need to be dealt with.

Emotions: Surprisingly okay.  


I had a bit of a lazy day on Wednesday after the appointment, as I was struggling with the dichotomy of having my ultrasound and being ecstatic about the results of that while, on the other hand, knowing that it was Maggie's due date.


As much as I am excited and thrilled about this pregnancy, I am ready for it to be over, if you know what I mean. Now now, but I am ready for December to be here.  I am tired of worrying and thinking about the "what ifs" all the time.  I am tired of being paranoid. I am tired of thinking about if everything I am eating and drinking and doing is somehow affecting Herbie and Puckett in a negative way. I have been trying to keep myself busy with school stuff, but as I approach the time when they are the same gestational age as Mags was when she died, I am getting more and more nervous.  And I wish I could just relax and enjoy this more than I am.


And, then, I know I shouldn't complain.  Because this is such a good thing.


And, the video below has nothing to do with anything.
I just watched it.
And I thought it was hilarious. 


And every time I have watched it,
I end up sitting here with a huge goofy smile on my face.
Because the guy seems so nice 
(and his laugh is hilarious)
and I think because it's so nice to hear people laugh.

50 of Life's Little Pleasures

If you've never read anything from Thought Catalog, you should.
I do not read all of the articles (such as "Why Ted is Worth Seeing" because I have no desire to see that movie.  At all.).
But, some are hilarious.
Or thought provoking.
Or a good waste of time.
Like "13 Inventions the World Needs Desperately"
(Can I get an amen for #2, 3, and 10?).

I read one today called "50 of Life's Little Pleasures."

Here are mine, in no particular order.

1. Heartbeat on a Doppler.

2.  Rabbit turd ice.

3. Hot burn-your-mouth-lava french fries.

4. Clean sheets.

5. Free or 69 cent songs on iTunes that you actually want.

6.  This video.


7.  Sunday afternoon naps.

8.  Finding a good book you can't put down.

9.  School supply aisles.

10.  Fresh corn on the cob.

11.  When kids say things wrong ("chocolate pupcakes" or "Jippy John's").

12.  Used book stores.

13.  A grocery cart that isn't messed up.

14.  Educator's discount.

15.  Taking a pile of your old crap to Goodwill.

16.  Bread bowls.

17.  Cheese.

18.  Free pens at a store.

19.  Finishing your to-do list.

20.  Corn dogs.

21.  Sweat pants. Comfy pants.  Sunday pants.  Elastic pants. Whatever.  Heaven.

22.  Ultrasound pictures.

23.  Seeing pictures of celebrities look like trash.

24. Good fortunes in your cookie.  Not just stupid statements.

25.  Pandora.

26.  Vacuum lines in the carpet.

27.  Freshly bathed babies.

28.  Big trees.

29.  Brunch.

30.  Politeness.

31.  Using up all the ink in a pen.

32.  Homemade tortillas.

33.  Knowing the answers on Jeopardy.

34.  Seeing parents being nice to their kids in a store.

35.  Frosty mugs.  With any beverage in them.

36.  Bloopers at the end of movies.

37.  Free bread or chips at a restaurant.

38.  Antiques Road Show.

39.  Sale racks.

40.   Good ambiance.

41.  Getting your hair washed and dried at the salon.

42. Accordions in music.  Don't ask.  I just love it.  Like this one.


43.  Food samples in a grocery store.

44.  The smell (and taste) of coffee.

45.  Mixed CDs.

46.  Good news about someone who deserves it.

47.  A marathon of a show you love.

48.  Folded chips.

49.   Reading outside.

50.   Perfect ratio of ice cream to pie/cake/cookie/crumble/crisp.

14 weeks.

How Far Along: 14 weeks tomorrow

Size of Babies: About 3-3.4 inches long and weigh about 1.5 oz each (the weight of 2 average chicken nuggets).

Weight Gain: Only up about 2-3 pounds.  Dr. Eck seemed pleased with this- as long as I wasn't losing.  I am going to try to beat my sister's record of weight gain.  Or not.

Belly: Definitely bigger than what I was with Mags at this point.  For obvious reasons. 

Taken at 13 weeks 3 days

Sleep: I love it.  I get about 11 hours a night and I'm still tired in the afternoon.  I know, I am enjoying it while I can...because I will never sleep again.  :)  

Movement: Every once in awhile I feel flutters when I am laying down.  However, I won't feel anything for certain for awhile. 

Food Cravings: Ice cream, cheese, nectarines. Meat is not that cool. Except I really want a #9 from Jimmy John's and I cannot have it.  

Clothes: My sister and I went out and bought some clothes and I have borrowed some from friends.  I didn't buy tons, as I am hoping that I won't fit into them for the entire pregnancy and I will probably have to get some different stuff for work, too.  Although being with my sister was fun, shopping was not. I felt like I was jinxing everything.  And, now I will be on all those stupid mailing lists again.


Appointments: Next Wednesday, July 11 (Maggie's due date).

Emotions: There's lots going on in my head right now.  Pure elation and excitement, nervousness, paranoia, joy, impatience, feeling overwhelmed, and thankfulness.  I've only teared up once.  When my buttered waffle fell on the floor.  Really.  Pull yourself together.

First OB Appointment

A few weeks ago D and I met with Dr. Eck (OB Dr) for the first time (since Maggie).
Obvs, I was nervous.
Like I kind of wanted to puke all over the place nervous.
Except I hadn't eaten because I was nervous.
And I had a list of questions that I wanted to ask her.


A synopsis of the appointment:

• The same nurse who couldn't find Maggie's heartbeat was in there again.  She told me that there are times as nurse that you never forget. Not finding Mag's heartbeat was one of those and she was so happy to see D and I back.
• This time, she found both heartbeats. I don't know how in the world she would find both, which is why I will not use a Doppler.  They were measuring about 161 and 156.  Perfect!  I'm pretty sure that those numbers indicate their IQs too, right?
• Dr. Eck came in and did the yearly exam (seriously) and also made sure everything else was measuring the way it should.
• We then dove into my list of questions...
• I can come in for a doppler check whenever I want- no appointment needed. Score.
• I will have appointments every 3-4 weeks until 20 weeks as long as things look good.
• At 20 weeks I will go to a Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor (Perinatologist) in Wichita to do the 20 week anatomy scan.  This doctor will do an even more thorough check of Herbie and Puckett and make sure things are on track.  If not, s/he will continue to see me or refer me to a specialist.  The MFM is connected with a hospital with a NICU so that if something does need to be taken care of right after birth, I have connections.
• If everything with the MFM looks great, I will go back to Dr. Eck and that's when we will start more frequent ultrasounds and appointments.
• I should expect to deliver at about 36 weeks or so (and praying not before that!)  We will decide as the time approaches if I will do a C-section or not. It totally depends on the positioning of the babies.  At this point, I don't even care.  As long as I have meds and healthy babies, it doesn't even matter to me.
• She told me to try and enjoy this pregnancy. I'm doing my darndest, but it's pretty much impossible not to be paranoid and nervous.

I went back yesterday for a Doppler check cause I can.  

And I will.

I will make them regret offering free checks for me.

The nurse found the first heartbeat right away.

Then I reminded her there were two.

:)

She found the other one, although they were so similar in rates, that it was hard to distinguish which was which.  

So far so good. 

About halfway to viability at 27 weeks.

And my heart overflows with thanks.