The weather is finally nice.
Dave cleaned up some stuff in the yard, watered the grass, fixed a door. It had blown off of our house and was laying in the yard (right next to the car up on blocks and the couch on the porch). And you thought Kansas was just windy in The Wizard of Oz?
I sat on the patio and talked on the phone. Talking on the phone has not been my most favorite thing to do lately. Once I'm on the phone I'm fine. I just feel like I have to pump myself up for conversation.
We visited Maggie's grave after church.
The trees around it were started to bud. I'd like to think that her magic had started to fill that pasture with life. Just like she had done to me--made it all nice and bright and happy and full of hope and new life.
But, her actual grave was heartbreaking. I should have brought more flowers to make it look nicer. All the flowers from last week were dead and nasty looking.
I talked to her; I asked her what she had been doing. I told her how much we missed her and how I hope she was doing okay and wasn't too lonely. Is that weird and crazy? I even said it aloud just in case she could still hear me and so she wouldn't forget the sound of my voice.
I checked the mail, several times, hoping for Maggie's hospital pictures. Instead, I got bills- bills from doctor's appointments from the last few months, 2 bills from our hospital stay, and another bill for my epidural.
Sigh and ugh.
Dave said that the bills wouldn't be so horrible if we had a living daughter to come home to. I wouldn't mind paying $170 for 3 IV bags of sugar water if I could come home and cuddle with her.
The hospital should give discounts for this, don't you think?
You get a 25% (or more) discount from the Maternity Ward if you go home empty-handed.
You get another 25% off if you go home broken-hearted.
We are both empty-handed and broken hearted.
We could have maybe saved 50% off these crazy bills.
|Please do not try to add up these numbers. I am going to have my paycheck direct deposited to the hospital.|
Dave and Kitty took naps.
I watched videos of Bill Nye on the internet (science state assessments in a week).
|How does he know that I change the channel even when he's sleeping? Also, in real life his bicep is not larger than his head. He would probably tell you otherwise. But, he is a Harder. They are famous for their large noggins.|
|And yes, we know she's fatty. She's also worthless. And a big jerk. I have scars to prove it.|
Oh, I used the google to look up "27 weeks pregnant."
That's what I would have been tomorrow.
I should not have done that.
According to the internet if I could have gotten her to this point, she would have an 85% chance of surviving with medical help.
Remind me not to google things like this anymore.