Saturday, April 23, 2011

Potpourri of Thoughts

Thought #1
I just googled "potpourri" to make sure I was spelling it right.  Do you know what showed up?  Potpourri smoking.  Seriously. It's what you think it is.

I don't think teenagers get that what they're smokin' has been collecting dust on your grandma's coffee table for years.

Kids these days, I tell you.

Thought #2
I spent the last 2 days pretending I was on TLC (not "The Loser Channel" as Dave calls it).  My dad came over on Friday and we spent the day painting our master bedroom.  We are expecting a new bedroom set to arrive anyday now (as soon as those Amish guys can load it up on the horse n buggy and trot it down here to Kansas) and our new mattress was coming yesterday afternoon (more on heaven-in-a-mattress to come).

So, we painted and painted. I was a bit scared our bedroom was going to look like a preschool had thrown up all over it, but it actually looks pretty good.  I also got to bust out our new bedspread.  Kitty, the retardo cat, loves it too.

Up-close of the new bedspread.  That is not an anaconda that's just eaten a small deer--it is kitty's tail with a fatty belly.
I am not going to share any of my thoughts on my entire body (read: hands, fingers, and legs) being sore because of painting.  I wish I could blame this out-of-shapeness on being pregnant.

By the way, we ordered the furniture so that we could have our master bedroom done by the time Maggie came.  We also ordered a king so that we'd have more room so we could cuddle with our little Maggie-bug.  The bed felt awfully big and empty last night.  I kept staring at that big, empty space between Dave and I where she should have been.  Where she could have been.

Thought #2

Okay, heaven-in-a-mattress?  We are no longer sleeping on our "poverty mattress" that I've had for so long.  We just got a Serta iComfort.
In. A. King. Size.

Read 'em and weep.  No more deviated-septum breathing in my ear! No more cold feet sneaking into my warm part of the covers! All we have now is marshmallow-fluffiness with cool-gel in the foam for 12% cooler sleeping temps!!  12%!! That's going to make such a huge difference.

There are, however, two problems with the iComfort bed.  Problem #1- the bed is so big that when Dave is breathing (which is the entire night), he is too far away for me to kick him.  Problem #2- when I sit on the bed to put on my shoes and then get up, the indentation of my butt in the mattress is HUGE. Like, my butt needs one of those WIDE-LOAD signs.  But, at least it's a sweet 12% cooler.

Thought #3
I broke down and bought a Swiffer today.  I know, I should be washing the floor by hand, like my mother taught me.  And then doing it at least 3 more times until I "do it the right way."  Right, ma?  If we ever have kids (*fingers crossed*), I will get rid of it immediately and make them get do it the way I had to as a kid--on my hands and knees, on the hard tile floor, scalding hot water, and rescrubbing at least 3 times until it met inspection. Obviously, child labor laws were ignored in my household.  I plan to continue that tradition.

Anyways, some people at work have been talking about how amazing these Swiffer things are.  I haven't used it yet since it needs batteries (Batteries?  Ma is shaking her head).

Is anyone else completely grossed out by the Wet-Jet thingies you put on the end of the Swiffer?  Disgusting. I didn't take a picture. I couldn't.  I don't even feel right having them set on the kitchen counter.

I don't even want to think about what's on the underside of this Swiffer WetJet.

Thought #4
I am becoming a crazy cat lady.  And, I'm a crazy cat lady who loves a fat, retarded cat. You take what you can get, I guess.

She's even cuter after she's had her bath.  Yes, we bathe her.
Lick it.

Lick it.

Out of shape.  Taking a rest from licking it.
Back to licking it.

Thought #5
I'm trying to ignore the fact that it is Easter tomorrow.  I know I should be celebrating- it is a happy holiday.  I am in no mood to celebrate.  More thoughts on Easter tomorrow, but for now...

All of this Easter hoopla is making me sad.  And angry.  I do not enjoy:
  • Cute Easter baskets filled with fluffy sheep and yellow duckies.
  • Easter egg hunts
  • Every Easter song talks about death, overcoming death, an empty grave.  Oh, how I wish...
  • Easter dresses

I think that if Maggie were going to wear an Easter dress tomorrow, I would be picking between these two dresses (ignoring the fact that the sizes are completely different).  Which one do you think?


  1. Rachel, you gave me a good laugh tonight! Thanks! Love the kitty pics and captions. From one teacher to another: You're a great writer. I'd score 5's on a Six-traits! Tee hee. :)

  2. I'm so pleased you learned how to properly clean a floor. I'm not sure those new Swiffer contraptions can get the corners as clean as they should. I suggest you wash the floor the proper way and the way your mother taught you, on your hands and knees. It's the best way for you to have a sparkling clean floor.


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