Monday, February 27, 2012


Here are some things I got the last two days.
I must say, I am a bit proud of myself.

  1. I saved a life.  There was a golden lab running in the middle of the street while I was driving to work. I summoned my inner Doctor Doolittle and stopped.  He was incredibly friendly.  In fact, when I opened up my back door, he hopped right in, laid down, and panted the rest of the way to the police station (except for one time when he stopped panting.  Dave said that's when he was peeing on my back seat).  I should have just taken him home with me.  Fergie would have flipped her cork for sure-sies.  If I can't get a baby, I am going to get a dog.  I was so excited to be all animal-saving like Dave that I texted him before school started:
 Me: I just saved a dog.  Just call me doc.

Dave: how (he's got mad super texter skillz)

Me: This golden lab was running down the road, so I stopped, he jumped in my car, and I took him to the police.

Dave: Good job...hope they don't shoot it

Me: He had a electric fence collar on. He was going to take him to the vet.

Dave:'re a hero (how is it possible for him to be sarcastic in a text?!?!)

Me: I should get your salary.

No reply.  It was obvs that he was jealous of my mad dog-saving skills.
  1. I know you don't care, but I just spent the last 3 hours grading and made dinner in between. I hate grading.  I can think of a gagillion more things I would like to do than grade.  Like clean a toilet or listen to a kid tell a pointless story (please tell me you know what I'm talking about) or listen to Dave's crappy old country music station (it's playing screeching Reba right now) or hear a conversation that uses only the words moist and succulent and supple and tender and probe (I hate those words a lot).  But, grading is worse.  Mostly because it is boring.  But I guess that's what I get for not doing that much over the weekend.  But it's done.  Now, when the kids take it home they can recycle it without looking at any of it.  
  2. I lost 0.2 pounds from this morning to the evening.  I reported this to Dave.  He quickly said, "I can take a dump that weighs more than 0.2 pounds."  I tasted vomit in my mouth then, just thinking about that.  That's gross, but he's a boy.  And, honestly, he's probably right.  He then said that if I peed a gallon, I'd lose 8 pounds.  The vomit in the mouth returned.  Kind of.  Even though that's kind of interesting.  Anyways, I am trying to watch my diet for several reasons.  1.) As much as I like buying new clothes, I don't like buying them unless I am pregnant or my rock-hard muscles will not allow me to fit in my clothes. I am not pregnant.  Nor are any of my muscles so rock-hard that I cannot fit in my clothes (do not tell my students this. I think I have them convinced that my guns are huge). Therefore, I shouldn't have to buy new clothes. 2.) I feel a bit chubby.  People say I'm not, but the Muffin Man (who lives down by my waist line) and I are getting to know each other.  I know the Muffin-Top Man well.  That's not cool.  3.) My syndrome (goog PCOS if you're really bored and want to know more about my ovaries) is usually for women that are fat and hairy.  As Dr. Grainger quickly stated, I am the skinny, non-hairy version of PCOS.  I'm lucky, he told me.  (Sidenote: He told me that about 3 years ago.  Before my 2 offspring died and I had 2 surgeries and a D&C and injected myself with all kinds of shots and pills and what-have-you. He has not said any of that nonsense recently.)  However, eating the right food may help my ovaries from not taking a plummeting nose-dive into psychosis.  So, we'll see if it helps at all.  
  3. So, going along with this weight-loss whatever, I am obviously trying to eat healthier.  So, I tried a new smoothie last night for dinner (Sunday nights are hunt, gather, and scavenge your own dinner).  It is the Green Monster smoothie.  If you look it up on pinterest, it's all over the place.  I saw a ton of recipes for it all over and all of them were different.  The basic premise is that they all include spinach (or kale).  Now, before you stick your finger completely down your throat from grossness, stop.  It was really, really, really good. So good that Dave was trying to lick his glass (Ladies, are you totally getting the hottest picture of my husband in your mind?  I'm realizing this post is not putting him in the best light.  But, back off. He's. All. Mine.  Dumps, pee gallons, glass licking and all.).  A lot of the recipes called for wheat grass or seaweed chips or the mold off of a 100 year old organic garlic bulb or whatever. I'm not into all that stuff. I know it's good for you but I'm cheap.  But, I did include: yogurt, OJ, frozen fruit (berries will turn your smoothie brown but it still tastes great)--I had mangoes, pineapples, grapes, peaches, and a strawberry), and then I piled spinach on the top and blended the snot out of it.  So that it looked like....snot.  And, it was great!  I highly recommend it.
  4. I am caught up on my emails (I think!).  My inbox was getting ridiculous.  
Now, adjust your thinking.  We are going from the light-hearted/fun part of the blog to the serious/you might need a drink of some pills of some sort.

Finally- a few things for you to keep on your prayer/thought/meditation whatever list:
  • My doctor's appointment on Wednesday to see how the testing of Nuggs came back.  And, if my ovaries are not psychotic enough to start this mad dash to parenthood all over again.
  • Therapy appointment #2 for my brain and my heart in on Thursday.
  • An internet acquaintance just lost her third baby.  Keep Jenny in your thoughts as she tries to sort out what her next steps are and get over the pain of loss #3 and the loss of hope, once again.  
  • Another email acquaintance, Alli, whom I have gotten to know over the last few months, has been on bed rest with her second son (she lost Harrison last May).  She is expected to deliver any day now and I know she is feeling anxious.  I'm thinking of you lots, Alli!
  • Another stranger/acquaintance I met through email just found out that she was pregnant last Wednesday.  Unfortunately, her levels dropped and she lost the pregnancy.  Keep Brittany in your thoughts, too.
  • And think of my friend, Hope, who is anxiously anticipating what was the due date of her daughter, Faith, whom she lost last Fall.  Hope was expecting Faith to join her tomorrow, February 28.  
  • I am struggling as March 17 approaches (and I know my friend, Heather, is struggling as the birthday anniversary of her son, Isaac approaches). How do we honor the memory of our children?  What should we do that can help us grieve and remember and still honor the short lives of our children?


  1. UGH. I just had a HUGE pity party for myself. I'm having the lovely D&C next week. It's in prep for my hysterectomy. I hate feeling sorry for myself when i have my amazing son. I still feel sad for my 2 miscarriages though. I still wish I had a huge crazy family that I grew up with. I still feel so mad at God. And question him. I'd love those babies so much. Then I feel guilty. For people like you how have none. Not my beautiful boy. I'm sad. And I feel so SO guilty for feeling sad. It's a rough bunch huh? Us broken mommies?

  2. Loved your post. Your husband sounds a lot like mine. :) Good luck this week.

  3. Rachel, I just passed my due date and found some ways to honor my twins. Everything from writing them a letter and buying them flowers, to a candle lighting ceremony and donating to worthy charities in their name. I've been spending many waking moments finding things to do for them and I've come up with a good long list for the coming year.
    If you want to visit my blog for ideas, please do. I am sorry you are having to go through this too.
    Alissa (MissConception)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...