Monday, February 20, 2012

Buffet of Las Vegas

I've been MIA from the blog world.
I was too busy living large in Vegas.
You know.
I lost all of my cash.
All of it.
I left with $1 so I could pay the luggage guy on the way to the airport.
My $4 was quickly burned up and I was annoyed.
I could have bought an overpriced coffee with that.

The man and I went to Vegas this weekend.
He had a conference that started on Sunday so we headed out a few days early.
To, you know, experience Vegas.
It was fun.
It was fun to be with the hubs.
And see new things.
And watch people.
And all that.
But I don't think I need to experience it again for awhile.
It's just not quite my style.
For the following reasons.

1.  I'm cheap.
Basically, I don't like spending my money on overpriced crapola.  And, in Vegas you have to.  Everything is expensive.  Except the penny slots.  And I never won on those.  We did do lots of fun things, but we realized that going to Vegas was not a place that people who are saving up for life things  (read doctor's appointments and stuff) should go.  Unless you're okay with charging and credit card debt.
Which we are not.  Which is why Vegas is not really our ideal vacation spot.

2.  I'm getting old.
Some of those kids looked like they were 12.  They should have been home with their mothers. Reading books or having family game night.
Or praying.
Or something.
We stayed out and ventured around, but it's not quite as fun going to bed late when the latest you can sleep in is 7 am. And that's without an alarm clock.

3.  I like to be comfortable.
You guys know I like my sweatpants. I don't usually wear them out in public (exceptions: work days at school, if I know I'm not getting out of the car, when I am going to exercise, or if I'm going to WalMart.  The WalMarts allows you to wear anything there.  And I mean anything.
(At this point I was planning on finding a funny picture from  However, when I went on I couldn't force myself to ruin my blog with a picture from there.  They are gross.  So, if you're curious, go there.  And just know that the sweatpants I wear are like a hand sewn, one-of-a-kind Vera Wang wedding gown compared to what madness you see there.)
I didn't wear my elastic pants out in public (even!to!the!buffet!).  However, compared to some people, I may have been wearing a trash bag.
Let me just say that if I had to wear a dress that is shorter than most of my t-shirts, I would not be comfortable.
I would not comfortable walking at least 4 miles in stilettos that cut off all circulation in my toes and caused me to stumble every 2 feet while walking (I couldn't tell if the girls were stumbling due to the heels, they were pre-pubescent and had recently just started walking on their own, or they had been drinking since 8 am the morning prior). I vote for choice C.

4. I like fresh air.
That does not exist in Las Vegas.  It smells of lots of things.
Some things should not be mentioned if I want to keep this family friendly.
But, gross.

5. I like to be alone.
I wouldn't consider myself an introvert, but I definitely savor my time by myself.  There is none of that there.  So, I am now making up for lost time and I am thoroughly enjoying my time here at home by myself for the next few days. I miss D, I look forward to him coming home, but I am enjoying myself.

6. I like to pretend that only good/normal/not weird/smart people have children.
After all of this stuff with Maggie and Nugget, I like to pretend that even though I still do not have children, that the only people with kids are the ones that should have them.  It's a fun game I like to play called "Completely Ignore Reality and Pretend that Life Makes Sense and You Aren't Getting Screwed." (It's fun, you should play).
Las Vegas made me lose that game.
Because everywhere I went?
At any time of day?
There were children.
Of many ages.

And, just in case y'all forgot, lots of people are still having children.
Not me, but other people.
People who:

1.  Had their children on leashes-disguised-as-teddy-bear-backpacks.
2.  Had their sleeping babies in strollers in the casinos at 2 am.
3.  Had their awake babies and children running around in casinos at 2 am.
4.  Had their children viewing things that, in my opinion, children should not be watching.  Especially at 2 am.
5.  Had their children take pictures with drunk Mickey and drunk Barney.

So, while I am paying hundreds of dollars a month and visiting doctors several times a week to have a family, others are having children for free and then hauling them around the casinos and bars all night.
Seems logical.

I just reread all of this and it seems like I am a complainy jerk that isn't happy with her vacation.
Not the case.
I had a ton of fun-- the show we saw (Mystere), the food we ate (gluttonous), and the company I had (love him) was fantastic.
All I'm saying is that I'd much rather be in a secluded place, without a lot of people around enjoying the time with the hubs.
Got it?

Oh, and remind me to tell you about my "Get My Head Straight" session with shrink-y pants last week. I met with her for the first time.  And I read some books, too.
Thank goodness for psychology and literacy or I might go crazy.

And, for your viewing pleasure.
Some of our pictures and our theme song from the weekend.
Can you find the part of the video that has 3 of my favorite things in one shot?

Update: I had to remove the video because, for some stupid reason, it was taking up too much space and I couldn't upload any more videos.  Dumb.  If you are really interested in seeing it, let me know.  I'll send it to you.  And you can watch the award-winning video.

1 comment:

  1. Glad you had some good time away with the hubs. Vegas isn't exactly my cup of tea either. Ben has to go for the Consumer Electronics Show every year and I sometimes join him. Then it's okay because his work pays for everything. And his co-workers are super fun. But otherwise, I prefer fresh-air much more relaxing vacations too.


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