Monday, April 2, 2012


So, on Saturday, I posted this:
(mind you, I was super pumped).

I mentioned in my last post that we were able to claim Maggie as a dependent for 2011.
Obviously, that is great news.
I mean, I would have preferred not having to do this at all,
but I'll take what I can.

But, like I said earlier,
we needed proof that this happened-
like a birth certificate
(which we don't have since she was never living outside of the womb)
or a death certificate
(which we don't have because she didn't die outside of the womb)
or medical records.

I busted a move over to the hospital after work on Friday
so that I could get there before 5.
I was fine until I walked in the doors.
I hadn't been in there since last year
when I delivered Maggie.
And, to be honest,
I wasn't a fan of the hospital
then or now.

I got to the Records office 10 minutes before closing time.
And thankfully, the woman there was really nice.
I mean, most people are super nice to be when I have to explain my situation.
I explained the deal
she printed out some stuff
and didn't even charge me.
Did she know that the hospital had charged me enough already?
(But that probably would have been the cheapest bill from them.)

So, long story short, we got Maggie as a deduction,
which is fantastic.

However, the real point of this post is this:
this is the first time that her name is official.
It's weird.
To see her name on paper.

Then, after that, I looked at the papers that the hospital gave me.
That was weird.
But more incredibly sad.
I'd never read the official medical records of Maggie's birth
(and yes it's a birth.  It doesn't have to be living to be a birth).

I got my epidural at 8:14 pm.
I delivered her at 10:38 pm.
And delivered the placenta at 11:05.

And then?
The saddest thing?
At 1 minute
and 5 minutes
and 10 minutes,
Maggie's heart rate was
Her respiratory effort was
Her muscle tone was
Her reflexes had
no response.
Her color was

And my heart broke again.
Because the whole time I just imagined her there.
Laying there.
and peaceful.
And I couldn't do anything to protect her.
Or help her.
I was helpless.
And I'm not supposed to be helpless.

And her heart was (and is) supposed to be beating.
Long story short, when it's too good to be true, it is.
I was contacted by a facebook friend who asked more details about this whole tax thing.
But, while looking into details about it for her, I realized that we, in fact, did not fit the criteria for getting this refund.

The IRS website states that in order to be able to get this refund, your document needs to show that your baby was born alive.

Maggie was not born alive.
In fact, she had been not alive for quiet some time.

So, I panicked.
If you don't know me
or haven't read my blog for awhile
you should know that I have some issues.
Like worry
and anxiety issues.
(Pro ejemplo, when I was little I would puke every Sunday night because I was worried about school.  Once I got there I loved it and was fine, but I would get so worked up that my dad would have to lay with me for hours.  Eventually I just laid on the floor by their bed. You're welcome for adding to the romance in your marriage, mom and dad.)
So, anyways, I freaked out and was pretty sure that we were going to be audited
and fined and
have to pay a gazillion dollars to the I.R.S.
for something
(and give up our first born (that was breathing, of course) to Rumpelstiltskin)
since my kid was never born alive.
If she would have taken one breath.
Or if her little heart would have beat 1 time.
That would change it all.

But, that's not the case.
We are out that money, but I'm okay with that.
The money doesn't really upset me.
I'm more pissed that Maggie didn't breathe
(once or continually since then).

So, lessons learned?
1.) Your kid needs have been born alive to get the tax refund. One breath will make you worthy enough to get a tax refund for a dependent.  Otherwise, you have not really had a kid or anything.
2.) If you are on top of things and have already mailed in your taxes, you can get something called a "refund amendment." This will stop the bad guys from coming after you.

1 comment:

  1. Ugh. Yes, we questioned in the state of Pennsylvania as well, I think it is pretty standard that if you have a stillborn child "they do not count". That was the hardest part for me. That the government wouldn't recognize my child. Sorry to hear you got excited about the fact that she was ALIVE on paper (sort of) and then deflated when she wasn't. Such a roller coaster of emotions. You are not crazy to think these things - this is what ALL parents think about.



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