Monday, August 6, 2012

Brain Dump: Week 19

So, I'm not going to apologize for not posting for approximately 3 weeks.
Because, I feel as if I have some good excuses
as to why I have not been blogging.
1.) School.  I have been back pretty regularly.
2.) I am growing two humans. I am tired.
3.)  The Olympics need my support.

And, since I am tired
and my creativity has been sucked out of me by school and said babies,
this update is going to be a list.

Me, Herbie, and Puckett.
1.  Physically, I am feeling pretty fantastic.

2.  I hurt more in the evenings, but that is to be expected.  That will probably continue until Dave starts his nightly massages on my back. (Ahem).

3.  My belly is, thankfully, growing as it should.  It does hurt by the end of the day if I am not wearing any support around it.  And, it sometimes hurts when it is full of food.

4.  I am feeling them pretty consistently now--mostly at night after I drink my protein shake.

5.  I can feel them separately.  Recently, Puckett is more active that Herbie but I can feel each one.  And it is fantastic.  My heart flips every time I feel them.

4.  Emotionally, I am a bit of a wreck.  Or a lot.  It depends if you talk to me or D.

5.  If I don't feel them when I usually do, I freak out.  This has happened several times.  I lay in bed on my side (after drinking my night cap of protein shake) and wait and wait and wait.  And I pray that I will feel something.  And I don't know if I do or not.  And then my fat cat jumps on my face.  And I cry.  Because my cat is morbidly obese and because I'm pretty sure I am going to have to go back to that hospital and leave empty handed.  Again.

6.  Thankfully, D has an ultrasound machine at work.  I have gone to the clinic twice to get ultrasounded.  And both times, when I am standing there, not looking at the screen, the little flicker has shown up.  And they have both been moving around and waving and kicking and being cute little thangs.  Praise the Lord.

7.  Dave usually measures me as a bovine. Moo.

8.  Have I mentioned my twin diet? (If you are pregnant with multiples, you need to read by When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads by Dr. Barbara Luke.  It is so helpful and makes so much sense.) 3,500 calories a day.  I thought it would be awesome to eat that much. It is not.  The only thing that is great is that ice cream counts as a serving as dairy. And I'm gaining weight.  (Another post on that later.)

9.  I have an appointment on Wednesday afternoon with Dr. Eck for a regular check up.

10.  On Thursday I have an appointment with the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor for the 20 week anatomy scan.  Prayers appreciated, as we will find out if Herbie and Puckett are measuring the way they should be and if things are growing properly.  It's kind of a big deal.  And, we may be able to find out genders, too.

11.  I wish I would not be so paranoid and worried.  And I wish I could enjoy this.  But, I just want it to be done.  And have them here.

12.  I will be 19 weeks on Wednesday.

13.  I feel guilty for having to get a long term sub for school. I feel badly for the students and families to have to deal with a different teacher for awhile.  A wise woman once told me that every teacher is replaceable.  Great advice and completely true, but I still feel guilty.

14.  I feel guilty because I know that my joy and happiness brings sorrow to others who are wanting to expand their family and they can't.

15.  Despite all of these feelings of paranoia, doubt, worry, and guilt, I cannot help but feel so excited and thankful.

16.  And, I feel overwhelmed sometimes too.  But in a good way.  And in a totally selfish way too.  Like, I like to sleep.

17.  I am looking for a scooter or wheelchair of some sort.  Not really. But kind of.  Wouldn't it be nice if I could scoot around school in something like this?  Then, I could make sure I am sitting more often.  And, I could roll over people's feet when I don't like them. Whoops, sorry ma'am.  And, I could chase down kids at recess.  Win. Win. And win.  Stupid not to get one, if you ask me.

18.  I can't think of anything else.  I have used all my brain juice for the evening.

19.  Future posts include: diet for growing multiples and update on Dr. appointments this week.

20. And, because I couldn't end on 19. It just didn't feel right.


  1. not that this will help, because i know that if i can't feel the baby, i like be nauseaus, BUT when i was pregnant with the triplets i didn't feel them as often as i felt my first daughter. i asked about it, and they always told me how active they were, and they were always kicking each other instead of me, so i didn't feel it as much. that brought some relief. hooray for 19 weeks! keep growing herbie and pucket! (you should really keep those names ;o) )

  2. Wheelchair rentals are surprisingly affordable. I am speaking from experience, of course! Glad to hear things are going welll

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Trying again...

    Praying for you and those babies. I can't even imagine the range of emotions you're feeling... and I'm thinking that's pretty normal for someone who is in your situation.

    As far as others feeling sorrow because of your happiness, I think anyone who knows your story and who has a heart would be happy for you.
    Sadly, the only pregnant people I can feel happiness for anymore are those who have struggled. That sounds warped. Ugh.
    You've been through enough. You deserve a happy ending! :)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...