Saturday, March 26, 2011

How to Pretend to Be Busy

It is weird that, once in awhile, I still feel Maggie move?  Maybe it's like people who have limbs amputated...you still feel something that's not there at all.  If only...

Dave and I have been trying to move on and get our lives back to normal. We've been trying to keep busy.  Okay, maybe him more than me.  It is hard to get life back to normal when I don't have to go to work this week and my plans for my spring break week were going to be getting things ready for our daughter's arrival.  It's amazing how quickly life changes.

He and I did take two days and go to Kansas City to get out of Hutch.  We spent the day at the outlet mall for some retail therapy (Ann Taylor Loft has been known for great mental therapy) and then spent the night down at the Plaza.  Great time with each other and a much needed break from reality.  Unfortunately we did have to come home.

Dave went back to work on Wednesday and I spent the next few days finding things to keep me somewhat entertained:
  • Some work friends came over to visit.  One of the friends is due with what was going to be Maggie's future husband.  I was glad to see that she (and her son) were healthy.  That's not to say that seeing her was not difficult.  I did, however, get to show Maggie off.  One of the things that I have read is that mothers of stillborns struggle with the fact that no one ever asks about the labor/delivery and no one asks about your child.  I understand, I never did prior to this either.  But, I am still a proud mother.  And I still want to show her off, even if the only thing to show is on paper.
  • I spent some time at Hobby Lobby.  Not really sure what I was looking for but I ended up buying some cards for the hospital nurses and doctor. 
  • I went into school on Thursday.  Dreadful.  Everything seemed normal, which was maybe the problem.  School went on as usual. But, I got things organized for next week.  I'm pretty sure I won't win an outstanding teaching award in the next few weeks.  Ask me if I care.
  • A past coworker brought some delicious meals over. Life.Saver.  If anyone knows of a free, full-time, in-house chef, let me know.  We are hiring.
  • My parents came over.  I cannot imagine what life would be like if we didn't live close to some family. My parents have been so incredibly helpful.  Dad trimmed the rose bushes, spread whatever-it-is-that-we-are-supposed-to-spread on our lawn, and cleaned out our planters.  Mother finished packing up Maggie's stuff in the guest room.  Then she vacuumed, dusted, and trimmed back house plants.  But mostly, they were company for me while Dave was at work
Now I'm trying to figure out how to mentally prepare myself for going back to school on Monday.  I didn't really care about phonics and fluency testing before this.  Now I really don't care.  Parents really shouldn't care if their kid can read 130 words correct per minute.  They should just be happy their child is still living.

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