Recently

1.  Recently Read

The year after I graduated from college, I spent a year teaching English to teenagers and adults in Lithuania.
Yeah, I know.
Most people have no idea where Lithuania is.
Or that it is an absolutely beautiful country.
With even more beautiful people.
My sister sent this book to me for my birthday.
You can read more about it here,
but if you like books about World War II, Anne Frank, and the like,
you'll love this one.

2.  Recently Finished

School.
Amen.
There's only so long that you can herd cats without going insane.

3. Lately

D's brother and his family are on a 2 month visit from where they are working in Bolivia.
It's been great having them back in town
and I'm pretty sure that Dave has loved having his brother here again.

Moving cattle

Blonde Harder boy.

Memorial Day Picnic

Luckily, we get to spend a bit more time with them in June up in Mini-soda.

4.  Birthday Gift

Courtesy of her Etsy Shop.

My ma is an internet wizard.  She can find anything on the internet.
I don't know how she does it.
She found this pendant for my birthday.
A symbol of Maggie and Nugget.
Go visit the shop- her stuff is absolutely beautiful
and it is all her original artwork that is etched into the silver.

5.  Prayers Needed

For a friend and her husband who experienced a miscarriage again this week.
The third time doesn't make it any easier.
It's just as heartbreaking.

And for several friends who are in the process of adoption or thinking about adoption.
Those who are wanting to adopt have to have hearts of gold and steel.
If you think that infertility and pregnancy loss are difficult,
I believe that adoption can be just as difficult.
And these families need our prayers.

6.  Try Not To Cry

And, I'm a bit obsessed with the Olympics.
Can't wait.

7.  A little blubbery after this...

8. I'm done.

More updates will come on this thing
now that school is done (crazy busy)
and life is a bit calmer.

9. Happy Summer

www.someecards.com 

Thinking of all women...

It is Mother's Day.
Happy Mother's Day doesn't seem like the most appropriate thing to say.
Because, honestly, for millions of women, this day does not bring about feelings of happiness
and joy.
Instead, it is a reminder of what could have been
or, at least, should have been
or
what once was 
or
what was supposed to be.

And, honestly?
I really don't think I will ever
celebrate it the way our society has meant for it to be celebrated.
I don't think I will ever be able to celebrate
without thinking of the millions of women who have lost their children.
Or without thinking of the millions of children who have lost their mothers.
Of without thinking of the women who are waiting for a child.
Or without thinking of the women who desperately want to be mothers.

From www.postsecret.com

So, this morning,
I am sitting at home.
I am not going to church.
(I am not the only one.)
I am choosing to stay home.
It is easier.
Easier than the awkward conversations.
Easier than deciding whether I stand or sit
when the mothers are acknowledged.
Easier than seeing children honoring their moms.

It is easier to be home.
Thinking of Maggie.
And Nugget.
And what could have been.
And should have been.

I am thinking of how things were last year on Mother's Day.
And nothing really has changed.
I still pray that I will be able to cross some of those things off my list.
Sometime.
Soon.

So, to the women out there.
Who have chosen to stay home today.
Who are visiting a gravesite today.
Or who are hoping for some good news, sometime soon-
we sit by you.

From www.postsecret.com

P.S.
I read this blog.
It is perfect.
Everything I have been thinking and feeling over the past 4+ years, she has said.  So, Amy, thank you.
For summing up my thoughts into a beautiful tribute to all women on Mother's Day.

"To those of you who gave birth to their first child - we celebrate with you.

To those who lost a child this year - we mourn with you.

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains- we appreciate you.

To those who experienced loss this year through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away - we mourn with you.

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment - we walk with you.  Forgive us when we say foolish things.  We don't mean to make this harder than it is.

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms - we need you.

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children - we celebrate with you.

To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children - we sit with you.

To those who lost their mother this year - we grieve with you.

To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother - we acknowledge your experiences.

To those who have lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood - we are better for having you in our midst.

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year - we grieve and rejoice with you.

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising - we anticipate with you.

This Mother's Day, we walk with you.  Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst.  We remember you.

Taken from and credited to Amy Young at http://messymiddle.com/. 

Recently

1. Recently Pinned 

From here or visit her blog directly.

2.  Stressed

My car battery was dead.
W could not find the jumper cables.
I finally found them.
The cables were too short.
We couldn't move car in garage.
It was field trip day
and I was late.

Then.
When I was finally on my way?
The car in front of my smoked a cat.
I saw the piles of puffy fur fly,
the cat hobbled off to the shoulder,
and threw itself down on the ground.

3. Freedom

Listen to every.single.word.

4. Recently Read

About this couple who are now expecting two sets of twins.
Amazing story.
She is pregnant with twins.
Her best friend offered to be her surrogate
and is now carrying twins.
I hope they like each other.

 5. New Online Resource

Still Standing Online Magazine has just recently started.

Everything that I've read is amazing.
And perfectly written.
And written by real women.
I just read Still Standing-The Journey.
Perfect.

6. Heart of Life

No, it won't all go the way it should

But I know the heart of life is good.

7.  We'll Try Anything 

If you are doing an IVF cycle,

maybe try renting a clown to increase your chances of success.
Whatever works.
(And, who was the genius who thought of this study?
I think I should have a scientist study if 
eating superfluous amounts of cake 
while watching movies in bed 
while getting a massage
increases the chances of fertility.
I will volunteer for this study.
Sadly, I think the result would just be a fatty, relaxed, but happy woman.
Until I had to put on real pants.
Then it would be World War III.)

8.  Recently Counted

11.5 days of school.
Lord.help.me.
The end of a school year should be the eighth deadly sin.
That and Rocky Mountain Oysters.

9. Recently Made from Pinterest

Homemade Taco Seasoning.
Make it.
Way cheaper than those packets.
And way better.

10. Recently Watched

5.8

5.8
A smell I adore.

I almost took a picture of Fergie's litter box.
But that would be gross.

This one's a hard one.
Because, basically, anything that is baking is titillating to the nose.
And really to be honest, food in general is kind of great.
Except Rocky Mountain Oysters being fried.
If you don't know what those are,
you probably don't live in Kansas.
If you want to know what they are,
let me know.
I have some in a freezer
that Dave collected at work.
Yeah.
Gross.
But anyways, that smell is not my favorite.
That and the smell of a freshly dealt Dutch Oven when I'm trying to sleep
are up in my Top Ten list of worst smells.

But.
For the smells I do like?

My numero uno is
the dryer.
Especially when you are doing work outside
and that lovely steam is wafting out of your house.
Fan-freaking-tastic.

Just in case you don't know what a dryer looks like.  If you don't, I'm sorry. You probably wear crunchy, stiff socks all the time.  Ick.

And, while I was typing this I was smelling this:

Dinner from my mama.
All-In-One Casserole.
Potatoes, carrots, hamburger, rice (and I think she put some quinoa in it too)
some creamy goodness
and love.
Get in my belly.

5.3, 5.4, 5.5, 5.6

This picture takes care of May 3, 4, 5, and 6.

On Friday 1/2 of our 4th grade went to a local state park for our annual field trip.

It was blazing hot

but so much fun.

May 3: Something I wore today.  Old clothes, old shoes, and my Twins hat.  

May 4: Fun!  Yes.  Getting ready for it and cleaning up is not fun.  But, being there is fun.

May 5: Bird.  I'm pretty sure if you look close enough there's probably a bird in there somewhere.

May 6: Me. I'm there in the center. 

5.2: Skyline

Skyline

One of the best ever.

This is the view from Muggie's grave.

5.1: Peace

Peace

Literal.

That's me.  Taken by Creeper McHusband.

Figurative.

In Peace: Nuggie.