Thinking of all women...

It is Mother's Day.
Happy Mother's Day doesn't seem like the most appropriate thing to say.
Because, honestly, for millions of women, this day does not bring about feelings of happiness
and joy.
Instead, it is a reminder of what could have been
or, at least, should have been
or
what once was 
or
what was supposed to be.

And, honestly?
I really don't think I will ever
celebrate it the way our society has meant for it to be celebrated.
I don't think I will ever be able to celebrate
without thinking of the millions of women who have lost their children.
Or without thinking of the millions of children who have lost their mothers.
Of without thinking of the women who are waiting for a child.
Or without thinking of the women who desperately want to be mothers.

From www.postsecret.com

So, this morning,
I am sitting at home.
I am not going to church.
(I am not the only one.)
I am choosing to stay home.
It is easier.
Easier than the awkward conversations.
Easier than deciding whether I stand or sit
when the mothers are acknowledged.
Easier than seeing children honoring their moms.

It is easier to be home.
Thinking of Maggie.
And Nugget.
And what could have been.
And should have been.

I am thinking of how things were last year on Mother's Day.
And nothing really has changed.
I still pray that I will be able to cross some of those things off my list.
Sometime.
Soon.

So, to the women out there.
Who have chosen to stay home today.
Who are visiting a gravesite today.
Or who are hoping for some good news, sometime soon-
we sit by you.

From www.postsecret.com

P.S.
I read this blog.
It is perfect.
Everything I have been thinking and feeling over the past 4+ years, she has said.  So, Amy, thank you.
For summing up my thoughts into a beautiful tribute to all women on Mother's Day.

"To those of you who gave birth to their first child - we celebrate with you.

To those who lost a child this year - we mourn with you.

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains- we appreciate you.

To those who experienced loss this year through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away - we mourn with you.

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment - we walk with you.  Forgive us when we say foolish things.  We don't mean to make this harder than it is.

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms - we need you.

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children - we celebrate with you.

To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children - we sit with you.

To those who lost their mother this year - we grieve with you.

To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother - we acknowledge your experiences.

To those who have lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood - we are better for having you in our midst.

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year - we grieve and rejoice with you.

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising - we anticipate with you.

This Mother's Day, we walk with you.  Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst.  We remember you.

Taken from and credited to Amy Young at http://messymiddle.com/.