Remembering

I have mentioned Heather before.
I have mentioned that she is not creepy or stalkerish.
I'm pretty sure she's not a 40 year old man that lives in his mother's basement playing creepy video games all day.
In fact, I'm pretty sure she is an amazing, caring, beautiful mother who is part of the same stupid club I am.
We met through the this website when it was doing a series on pregnancy and infant loss.
She lost her dear son, Isaac, several weeks after Maggie died.

Since October is Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss Awareness month, Heather and her family walked to remember her dear son and the steps he will never take.  They joined hundreds of others to remember the other children and their families.



Since the closest Remembrance walks are 3 hours away from us, Heather let a balloon go in honor of Maggie.
And, even though it's just a balloon,
it is so much more than that.
It's acknowledging her.
And not ignoring and brushing over the fact that she ever existed.
It's remembering her life.
And remembering how my life has changed because of her.
And remembering that I am a mama.
Even though my daughter is dead.

And it's overwhelming to think that all of these balloons represent
the love
and magic
and hope
and excitement
and overwhelming joy
that families felt for these babies.

But they are also reminders of
the pain
and loss
and grief
and the overwhelming hole
that families feel when that child is taken
too soon.

October 15 is the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  People observe the day with remembrance ceremonies and candle-lighting vigils.  Finally, they end the day with the International Wave of Light, where people around the world light candles at 7:00 pm (whatever time zone they are in).

I am hoping I can remember to light 2 candles on Saturday night.
To think of Maggie
and thank God for her.

And, I'm also going to light another candle to honor of 2 college acquaintances who just lost their dear daughter, who was due in January.
Although I have not spoken with them in years, I hope they know they are in the thoughts and prayers of many.  And that, although, their daughter is not where she should be.
Or where we want her to be, she is at peace.
And I hope she is playing furiously with her new friend, Maggie.