August

I always forget how busy this time of year is.

You would think that it would get easier after 9 years.

But every year I spend too much time at school.

And I buy too many supplies that I already have but buy them anyways because they are so nicely packaged.

But, I do love the school supplies.

Maybe a little too much.

This was only the first load.

Eeek.

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Also, some of you have mentioned how disappointed you are that I didn't get my riding mower (with cup holder) this year.

Don't worry.

I'm not mad.  Or disappointed.

Because this is our grass:



Dead.
Except that for those few little guys holding on for dear life.

We haven't mowed since June, maybe. (we=D, not me.  I vowed that since I wouldn't have been able to mow the grass this summer since I was pregnant, that I was going on strike and not going to mow anyways.  I should have picked a different summer to go on strike.)

It's pathetic.

We finally got some rain last night, but not enough to fix this craziness.

It looks so ugly.

This is what it is supposed to look like.

Who wants to mow in 110 degrees anyways?
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And, because you haven't seen fatty Fergie in awhile.

Licking my schweaty knee.

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And I am trying to avoid the subject of pregnancy and babies and all of that in this post.  It is easy to let it become consuming and then I find myself getting bitter and jealous.

And I don't want to be one of those women who is bitter and jealous around other women who are pregnant or have kids.
But I can totally see how it happens.
It is so easy to just let those horrible feelings consume me.
And I hate that.

And I hate that I don't have a daughter.
And I hate that she died.
And left me.
Missing her.
While she's probably having all the fun.
And life keeps going without her.